Three Traits Your Partner May exhibit if They Are a Narcissist. How do you spot Narcissistic behavior?
Is your partner a narcissist? Do you even know whether they are or not? If you can think of even one instance where you’ve felt the need to question their behavior in an uncomfortable manner internally, you should consider the possibility that their behavior is in fact, narcissistic behavior.
How do you tell?
Well, here are the top three signs to start looking for to help you better understand what may be happening right under your nose.
- They Love Bomb You –
On a date, it’s always great for someone to be attentive, respectful, and kind overall. But where do we draw the line? After so much time together, does the attention become overwhelming to the point you almost feel as you have no privacy? If you want some alone time, do they make you feel guilty for “not wanting them around” all the sudden? Do they have to have constant contact with you, even when you are at work, and get either angry or tell you they “were so worried” when you didn’t reply to their every message on time? If you’ve ever utilized or happened to even see an online lecture from a certified Life Coach concerning this situation, it is one of the very first signs they would tell you to look for. These narcissistic behaviors are manipulation at its finest to have the upper hand in a relationship, which you could almost compare to a situation like “job security”. Let’s keep reading to see how suddenly your partner may “flip the switch”.
- They withhold love and affection to punish you –
Congratulations on your 2-month anniversary from your first date! I’m sure your partner has reminded you and made you feel bad if you didn’t say it first, because they had already premeditated mentioning your 60 days together before you have a chance to have your coffee… Anyhow, now that you “forgot the big day”, all the sudden, all that attention, love and affection is more like the cold shoulder of a pouting baby in the corner that didn’t get his or her way. A narcissist, you see, does not give love and affection from the heart. They spew it from the mind, as part of a game of control. A Certified Life Coach is someone who can help you understand how the mind of a narcissist works, and how control is their biggest goal. So long as you comply, and play along with how they want you to react and respond, all is fair in love and war. On the other hand, when you notice the unhealthy situation and call it for what it is, when you take control, everything falls apart quicker than you can finish your confrontation’s first sentence. If you are shut down the moment you attempt to sit down with your partner and be respectfully open about what is bothering you, there is definitely an issue with narcissistic behavior here. Speaking of shutting down or closing off, there’s another very unhealthy pattern involved in narcissistic behavior you need to put your foot down about before it even begins. Read on.
- They Close Off your Communication with Family –
Would you walk into a stranger’s house and demand they rearrange their furniture and appliances to your liking, or else? Highly unlikely unless you really need a nice warm padded room to rest in for about a month. So, it’s pretty odd to think that you’d pop up in someone’s life and tell them they can no longer speak to their parents or siblings, right? Say you may overlook narcissistic behaviors in your partner because their undying unconditional love for you overrides the negative. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your brother notices that your boyfriend is a full-blown control freak, and the boyfriend doesn’t like that someone is trying to “destroy what the two of you have created”. So now, the boyfriend tells you that your brother is being manipulative and narcissistic simply because he doesn’t like your “soul mate” for some selfish reason. A Life Coach would tell you the boyfriend is simply aiming to point the finger at someone else to make themselves look like the good guy, and gain the upper hand of control in not only your relationship with them, but multiple relationships with your family members. The first moment a partner, or anyone for that matter, in any way demands you not speak to someone, especially someone in your family, you have a narcissist attempting to control your very decisions and take control of your life down to the most personal level, your own mind. This is none less than toxic, unhealthy manipulation, and you’re better off keeping people like this out of your circle.
Need help in this situation? Our Sober on Demand program and our sister program The Addictions Coach can assist with this behavior and helping you unwind the situation and separate from this toxic individual. Reach out to us at 800 706 0318!
